Quilters - A unique Culture!

Thanks to Myra, Caroline, etc for their kind words and encouragement I will keep going with my blog. I've had the worst week really. So called 'friends' telling me how I should feel, what I should be doing etc. And then after receiving a letter from the hospital telling me my appointment with the surgeon has been postponed for another ten days.. well I crashed big time. It didnt help that I was out for dinner with friends when one said "your cancer can't be that urgent" etc etc. I know she has a problem with speaking before thinking but I wasn't strong enough that night to cope with her 'advice' and I left the restaurant. I ended up at Carol's and sobbed my heart out for what seemed like ages. To me I need to get rid of this incidious disease TOMORROW - it has taken over my life. It was like my whole being was waiting for today's appointment as then I would be one step closer to 'the end'. I was devastated... I'm lucky to have friends close to me who've had cancer like Raewyn who bought me flowers yesterday because she understood how dissapointed I was.

And my Quilt.... Wow, I now have 67 heart blocks! Most from people I dont even know. They are members of an online quilt group I belong to so the blocks have come from all over NZ. Some from close friends .. from Myra, Irene, Jacqui. Last night some of our Quilt Club Committee gave me them.. gorgeous hearts and there will probably be more in the letterbox tonight. Even a colleague who doesnt quilt has sent me a fat quarter because she wants to be part of it! They are gorgeous, bright colours and I will be able to look at them often and read the names of those who have made them. I never thought something as small as a 6" piece of fabric could be so precious. Carol is going to help me put the blocks together and she will quilt it for me before I have my op. I can't wait to see it finished.

It helps me realise how lucky I am that this is happening at the best time of my life! I have great family and friends, a job I enjoy and a really supportive boss, a great place to live and I am learning from this experience to be stronger, to take control and walk away from situations when I don't feel good and that even a blade of grass or the texture of a fabric is more important than a nice new toyota! Geez??

Karen

What an amazing journey this is!

I feel so humble.

Since being diagnosed I have had people constantly offering to help in any way, ringing to support me, calling in to visit, offering support in the future when I need it. And today in the post I received a gift from someone I've never met but know of through an online quilting group.

Heres the beautiful pincushion and tools holder she made me using "Quilt for a Cure" fabric for Cancer. I opened the parcel and cried. I know that people care but it really is overwhelming. My online quilt group are even making heart blocks for me, that I can sew into a quilt to remember this experience. I was told "Its the quilting culture. To show we care about you". I feel undeserving as there are so many women who are really suffering through cancer but I am still fit and well and once I have this surgery there is a 90% chance I will be cancer free without treatment.

Tonight I've been to my patchwork group and finally cut out some blocks for a row swap, which are way overdue. They need to be posted next week at the latest. I have a sewing bee that I host on Saturday so I can spend the whole day catching up on what I havent done in the last 3 weeks! No excuses! I think it will motivate me to get cracking. Working with fabric and colour is really healing and makes me feel good because I can be creative and achieve something.

This is one I made last year for my neice's wedding present. Their colours were burgundy and blue at the wedding so I used them predominantly in the quilt. It was a huge surprise for them. I told Stacey I was making a patchwork outfit to wear to the wedding and the poor girl believed me! Don't know why?

Well I've felt a little less foggy today. I had an amazing sleep last night. Slept till 5am instead of 4 so felt a little brighter when I got up. But when I was looking at clothes during my lunchhour and I saw a gorgeous blouse rather transparent, I thought "I'll never be able to wear one of those as people will see I won't have a nipple"... but as usual a friend cheered me up with their comment "Put a M&M on your boob and noone will know the difference"?? Haha I guess if I was hungry I'd always have a snack close by.

I love my friends! Thanks to all of you too for your comments today. This is a fantastic way of sharing my journey!

Karen

PS Can someone tell me how to search for other blogs through this site???

One week since diagnosis!

This time last week I was diagnosed as having breast cancer and told I would need a mastectomy. Wow, it blew me away. I have just turned 50, had a fantastic party with family and friends and thought life was pretty sweet. I turned up for my routine mamogram without a care in the world until I was called back within a few days for reassessment.So here I am awaiting a visit to the surgeon this week. Its been a good week. I've coped, stayed positive. I am so lucky they have found it early and I will live to finish all my ufo's ... I patchwork .. a lot! I've told all my family and closest friends. And I'm planning a wake for my boob. After all, its fed three kids and served me well! My friends think its a fantastic idea.. they know me well and know that this is how I would want to spend the time close to surgery date.I'm hoping to be able to have a reconstruction at the same time but wont know for sure until I see the plastic surgeon. It would be so great if they could make it a nice pert 21 year old boosey but they'd have to pin up the other one as well. And the bonus is they take the fat for my new boosey from my stomach so I'll end up losing an inch or two. Hmmm I hope they know when they've got enough, I could end up with a double H on the right and a C on the left. I"d be running around in circles!Hey I have to make jokes. There is nothing I can do about this. I have cancer! Woah.. that is weird saying that. I feel fine, look fine but I have cancer. What a miserable sneaky disease it is ah. Noone in my family has had breast cancer. I had no lumps. No illness. But thanks to Breast Screening I have joined the millions of other women who suffer from this horrible disease. Well, I dont think of it as my enemy, that would be stressful. ..It is an overstayer..and its bags are being packed.So now you know what I'm coping with at the moment. I'm staying on top though feeling like I cant concentrate by the afternoons, very tired I think from stress even though I'm not consciously feeling stressed! Its always in the back of my mind and I cant wait to find out when I'm going to be rid of this pest. I hoped that by writing a blog friends and family could share my thoughts, and share their feelings with me. I know I am not alone in this. If nothing else this has happened at the best time in my life. I have a wonderful family and more friends now than I've ever had. My boss is fantastic and very understanding. I work with neat fun people in a job I love doing. I have a cosy place to live in and I am ever so grateful for all the support I have been offered. I know that everyone is thinking of me and will be there if I ask for help (geez that's not easy for me but I'll learn).